Parzival3000
Parzival3000 | |
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 Total troll death mistah J | |
| Born | Marlena H. 1998 (age 25–26) |
| Years active | December 2023 - January 2024 |
Parzival3000 was a WingsOfRedemption moderator who was known for her short-lived but memorable tenure as a chatroom janitor. While Wings moderators often display a defeatist attitude towards trolls, Parzival took a more offensive role as moderator. She would transparently lurk in the Conway Whale Watchers Discord, scouring for information to take back to Wings. Unfortunately, Wings is no master of whisperers. As Parzival discovered, relaying information in real-time to someone who reads 15 words per minute proved to be a frustrating endeavor. Nevertheless, she still perservered in her quest for "Total Troll Death" (an apparent play on "Total Nigger Death"). In a display of tear-jerking loyalty, Parzival would even remark that trolls taunting her dead brother affected her less than people being mean to Wings.
Dox and Resignation
On January 26th 2024, CWW shared a free public archive of the Lolcow Podcast livestreams, which had been behind a members-only paywall. The same day, Parzival took it upon herself to file a copyright strike against the Mega.nz archive, presumably to safeguard Jordie's newly gained source of income and to enact her stated mission of "Total Troll Death".
However, something remarkable happened - in true 62 IQ fashion, Parzival had unknowingly forwarded her full IRL name and email address directly to the trolls, essentially on a silver platter. To make things worse, Wings would announce his departure from Lolcow Live just one day after Parzival had filed the copyright strike - essentially blowing herself up for nothing. The email address was immediately traced back to a username - "parzivalreborn". Parzival's identity was a surprise to all - a seemingly innocuous woman in her mid-20s with an arts degree. Some expert troll psychologists have theorized that Parzival was almost using Wings as a replacement for her deceased brother, compensating for his death by becoming overly protective of Wings. I think we can all agree these troll psychologists have way too much time on their hands.
On January 28th 2024, Wings would go live, Parzival would join the chat, and the inevitable happened. Within minutes, Parzival would throw in the towel and announce she was "retracting the claims against the trolls" (though Mega had already dropped the claims themselves beforehand). When Parzival tearfully said goodbye to Wings, he quietly muttered under his breath "seeya Parzival" and swiftly returned to maintaining his negative K/D in Call of Duty.
Gallery
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Bankrupt Lolcow Live? Not on Parzival's watch.
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Parzival surrenders her dox in exchange for taking down the archive for 1 day.
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Veteran dickrider Six70two offers words of wisdom.
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Some men just want to see the trolls burn
